


Smitten

by Hope



Category: Firefly, Red Dwarf, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Crack Fic, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-04
Updated: 2005-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-02 00:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hope/pseuds/Hope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For Mary.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Smitten

**Author's Note:**

> For Mary.

It takes Mal a while to realise that something ain't quite right. His first hint is when he's striding back through the cargo bay, feeling Serenity jerk and shudder under him as the girl follows his somewhat urgent instructions to put on some speed and get her in the air as fast as possible, and Jayne appears. Okay, so maybe that ain't a hint in itself. But the way Jayne looks past Mal to Inara, and the way Jayne's face slips out of dumbass-'why're we takin' off?'-confusion into a kind of slovenly leer that makes him look as if he's been hit in the head by a blunt object, that's a hint. Even more of a hint is the way Jayne's body follows suite, slouches in the doorway in a way that a huge ape beating its chest is nonchalant, and hooks a thumb into his gun belt. "Well hello," he says, and Mal punches him. Jayne's usually crude, yeah, but not usually this crude to Inara, though Mal knows she can take it. Though with the progress he's made in the past ten minutes alone; seems that being all chivalrous and rescuey don't go so astray after all.

And then he hears a voice from above, "_Mal!_ What is going _on?_" And he looks up to see Inara hurrying down the steps from the catwalk. Huh. Inara. Up there. Yep. And in the bay behind him, looking a mite panicked for a moment. Second hint, then. Or third, now that he thinks about it. Chivalry. Right.

Then his suspicions that something ain't quite right are cemented quite painfully and abruptly when Zoë joins the party, stepping in and around Jayne's curved back, ignoring the muffled cussing, and looks up and past Mal, freezing. And then Mal don't remember much that happens after that, except that it hurts.

* * *

When things stop being black again, Mal finds that the Doc's standing above him, pressing rubbery-smelling fingers into his cheekbone, and that hurts a little, but mostly just feels fuzzy. And rubbery. "What happened?"

Simon don't even pause a beat. "Zoë hit you."

"Oh." And that fact alone is enough to fast-forward his muggy thoughts some, and get him up to speed right quick. "Where is it now?"

Simon's staring at him right funny, all intent-like, his shoulders hunched over and his eyes all piercing. "Out there." He gives a vague shrug to his shoulders, not shifting his gaze. "With the others."

Mal starts to get worried. "Is it okay?" he asks, unable to stop the edge of concern from slipping into his voice. "Does it look alright? Somethin' you ain't telling me?"

A look that Mal might compare to panic flickers across the Doctor's features, and his eyes get a bit wider. "Mal, I can't--"

"She didn't _break_ anything, did she? Please tell me she didn't break anything…" He swears a little. "Shoulda known, one day she'd turn on me. Never figure it'd be somethin' like this, though. Woulda liked a bit of warning, to brace myself. Get prepared." Simon looks confused, but he's still staring intently, and Mal just can't take it anymore. "Gorramit, Doc, what did she do to it? My face? Is it irreparable?"

Simon blinks. "Just a black eye," he says, and steps back.

It does seem a might odd to Mal that the Doc seems to have taken to walking backwards 'round the infirmary, or at least when he's heading in a certain direction. He ain't even looking at Mal anymore, just staring blankly -- and, if Mal's come to recognise anything on the kid's face after having him aboard for nigh on a year now, desperately -- right ahead of him. Not turning around. Keeping his back facing the windows.

Mal steps out of the infirmary to see his crew -- well, most of them, anyway, Zoë's nowhere to be seen -- quieter and paying more attention than they ever paid to him. They're all staring at Inara -- no, _not-_Inara - who's talking quietly to… Inara, who's looking more relaxed and animated than he's ever seen her, that's for sure. Talking shop, Mal figures. They both glance up as he walks in to join the crowd, and one of them looks down again before the other.

Jayne's slouched on one of the chairs not far away, throwing Mal a reproachful glance before returning it to the center of attention, his gaze intent over the blue cool-pack he's pressing to his mouth. Kaylee's sitting even closer, not even turning to look at Mal, completely rapt, sitting forward like someone's about to up and feed her a whole passel of strawberries. Which, now Mal comes to think of it, is probably the case.

"Mal," the gelf says as he comes closer towards it, and Inara gives a low laugh; he knows she's heard something else. But Mal ain't listening this time, even when it's _that_ tone, coming out of _that_ mouth.

"Off," he says. "I want you off, at the next moon, or planet, or space station or asteroid or whatever we happen to come across first."

Then the gelf, the not-Inara, says some other things, and Mal _really_ ain't listening this time. Inara don't look too surprised when not long after Kaylee leaps up to take the gelf's hand, draw it, giggling, down the hall and up the steps towards the engine room. Mal makes a point of not looking at Inara. Then a crash comes from the infirmary, and when he glances back from the Doc's bent back, it's just the swish of Inara's skirts as she leaves.

"Don't see why we can't keep her," Jayne grumbles, and Mal thinks that's either mighty bold or mighty stupid on his part, considering the source of Jayne's split lip is the only person sharing the room with him now. Then again, they are right next to the infirmary. Though that not-turning-his-head thing might stop the Doc from being doctorly to the full extent possible, at this point.

"It," Mal says, refusing to rise to the bait. "Not her. It."

* * *

Later, with still no sign of Zoë and neither Jayne and Kaylee talking to him either, Mal rests his hands over the shudder of Serenity's controls as River takes her out again. "What did you see?" he asks, realising the instant he says it that maybe it ain't the most appropriate thing to ask. Not that it matters. Not with her.

She flips a few switches on the consol, turns her head to give him a wry smile, with a hint of something else in it that he ain't quite sure of, though it probably has something to do with the mind-reading side of things.

"An amorphous green blob," she says after a moment or two.

"Uh," Mal says, trying, and failing somewhat, to come up with a polite response to that that ain't silence. "That's--Is that–?"

She snorts. "_No_. That's nothing." And the smile is back, full-force in the understated curl of her lip. "It's nothing."

**Author's Note:**

> http://hopeful-fiction.livejournal.com/38450.html


End file.
